Friday, April 27, 2012


THE AVENGERS - Stay after the credits for the bonus scene where they introduce the new Avenger: Captain Planet.

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL - Four actors film their vacation.  It’s like Grown-Ups for old people!

LOL - Miley Cyrus stars as a text-loving girl who has to choose between 2 total hotties!  Oscar-bait season starts earlier every year! (As in my gross uncle Oscar)

A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN - Kate Hudson is dying, and dreams she meets God, played by Whoopi Goldberg.  If God turns out to be Whoopi Goldberg, I’m killing myself in heaven.

DARK SHADOWS - Austin Powers: Groovie Ghoulie

BATTLESHIP - Liam Neeson says “Fire everything!” That’s not something you say in Battleship! You say “Can we play something else?”

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING - Starring feathered hair, pillows and slumming comedians!

THE DICTATOR - The future of frat house Halloween costumes will be determined by this movie’s success!

HYSTERIA - A comedy about the first vibrator. Between this and The Dictator, the pubic wig factory was working overtime!

MEN IN BLACK III - The series that kept Will Smith from having to do “fat suit comedies”.

MOONRISE KINGDOM - Wes Anderson, directing yet another gritty, blood and profanity filled revenge story. Come on, Wes!

CHERNOBYL DIARIES - Young people see spooky ghost kids. It’s ALWAYS kids! Don’t old people ever die unavenged?

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