SUMMER MOVIEZ: MAY

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Is everyone excited for Summer movies? Of course you are! We get to move out of the Spring season of dumb, throwaway movies that studios didn't expect to make a lot of money into the season of dumb, throwaway movies that studios expect to make a LOT of money!

I just missed out on writing about Scfouream, but here's what's coming for the month of May:

The Hangover 2:
Mel Gibson was supposed to be in this, but then everyone heard his misogynistic, racist phone calls, and he was fired. They can't sell tickets for their misogynistic, racist movie while he just gives it away!

The Beaver:
Mel Gibson teams up with Danny Glover to solve another crazy police case.

Thor:
I wish it was about these guys:

Hobo With a Shotgun:
Could be called: "You Seeing Thor Instead"

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides:
Every new Pirates movie made is a missed opportunity to make my Spaceship Earth movie.

Kung Fu Panda 2:
My McDonalds toys from the first Kung Fu Panda will soon have playmates!

Jumping the Broom:
Pastor T.D. Jakes is producing this movie about two colliding African American families getting married. When Joel Osteen makes a movie, he can call it Doing The Chicken Dance.

Priest:
Touched me in the bad way.

Bridesmaids:
Finally, a poop and fart comedy by-men-for-women!

Midnight In Paris:
In this new Woody Allen comedy, I am going way out on a limb, and saying Owen Wilson plays a neurotic, exasperated man who wears plaid shirts and khakis.

Something Borrowed:
An awful, pretty girl with blond hair is going to get married to the guy that the wonderful, brunette girl likes. What will happen? (A: at least one "dancing around the living room to a Motown song" scene)